GAY
FILM REVIEWS BY MICHAEL D. KLEMM
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GAY
FILM REVIEWS BY MICHAEL D. KLEMM
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Long-Term Relationship Here!
Films
Director/Screenplay: Starring:
Unrated, 97 Minutes |
Lovers
And Friends
Romantic comedies often follow a certain formula and it is a treat when you find one with a new twist. Rob Williams' (Back Soon, 3-Day Weekend) first film, Long-Term Relationship, starts out as your typical boy meets boy movie. Glenn and Adam, aside from some humorous political differences, are perfect for each other except for one thing... the sex sucks. |
 Glenn
(Matthew Montgomery) is a stud who has been around the block a few times.
He contemplates settling down with the right guy when his roommate, Vincent
(Jeremy Lucas), shows him a personal ad in the newspaper that he was thinking
of responding to. Glenn thinks he recognizes a kindred spirit in the ad,
especially when he finds a reference to his favorite book, The Hitchhiker's
Guide To The Galaxy. He annoys Vincent by answering the ad himself. |
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But not this time. Glenn and Adam lay on opposite ends of the bed, blankets pulled up to their necks, barely able to look at each other. Glenn remarks that his nipple is bleeding. Adam asks what the hell he was doing with his hand and Glenn explains that it worked in a Jeff Stryker video. When Glenn asks if they should try again, Adam abruptly yells "Oh God, no!!!" The next day, Glenn calls Eli and tells him that it was one of the two worst sexual experiences that he's ever had. |
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 Long-Term
Relationship
is a rather sweet movie. Glenn and Adam's love affair will touch your heart
even as you laugh at their disastrous attempts to connect carnally. Most
of this is very funny. My favorite bit was when Adam opens a gift box to
find a studded leather cockring, smiles rapturously and then puts it around
his wrist as Glenn slaps his hand against his forehead. Glenn tries to rationalize
the situation to Eli by saying that the sex is usually shot after five years
in most marriages anyway and he and Adam are just jumping ahead to the phase
where couples concentrate on the other things they have in common.
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 There's
quite a bit of comedy and some drama to help move the film along.
Glenn's roommate, Vincent, is secretly in love with him and feels like he's
been dumped by his best friend. One of Glenn's old tricks resurfaces to
make trouble and Adam's free-spirited parents show up on Christmas with
meddling, but well-meaning, advice. A third act crisis packs quite a dramatic
punch. The cast of Long-Term Relationship
is terrific and, for the most part, their comic timing is exquisite. (Eli's
character is occasionally annoying.) Matthew Montgomery and Windham Beacham
are so good together that director Williams cast them again in his
next film, Back Soon. The
camerawork is nice too; I liked how the first shots are a visual nod to
the opening of Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut with rear angles
of Glenn getting undressed interspersed with the credit titles. I also liked
that the usual transitional montages. set to banal pop songs. were kept
to a bare minimum too. |
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More on Rob Williams
More on Matthew Montgomery
More on Windham Beacham
Artie O'Daly, Jeremy
Lucas, Bret Wolfe, Kelly
Keaton also appears in: |
Our
lads meet for dinner. Adam (Windham Beacham) and Glenn hit it off immediately.
They are so smitten and shy with each other that they decide to
wait, before having sex, and get to know one another first. Glenn's gay
friends, Vincent and Eli (Artie O'Daly) think they are nuts while their
married friends, Mary and Joel (Chuti Tiu and Joel Bryant), think it's
sweet. Mary is the usual annoying matchmaker type who wants Glenn to settle
down with a nice guy. A month passes and Vincent and Eli can't believe
that they still haven't had sex yet. Then Adam shows up at Glenn's
house with roses and says that they have waited long enough. He drags
him into the bedroom and...
Somehow
it is an unwritten rule in all modern movies, gay and straight,
that lovers will always have perfect sex. You know what I am talking
about. They will come together, there are awesome acrobatics, the lighting
makes them look like gods, they moan with pleasure, hands will claw at
muscular backs, there are strategically placed beads of sweat on their
bodies, and they sing the Hallelujah Chorus. 
Unfortunately,
the less said about the last ten minutes the better. I've seen some bad
endings in my time but this one is so cloying that it should come
with a warning for Diabetics who might watch it. But I really had fun
with the rest of the film and so I'm trying to pretend that the ending
was just a bad dream. But hell, the conclusion of Moliere's Tartuffe
is nothing to write home about either and Shakespeare has been known for
a few lame endings too. Long-Term Relationship
is a great date film that thinks outside the box and features a truly
original idea. This is the third film that I have seen from writer/director
Rob Williams and he just may be one of the better auteurs working in independent
gay film today.